Milk Carton

We were out of milk this morning and I started the day with a cappucino made from milk that had sat in the open steaming carafe all night collecting flavors from the fridge. Ugh.

If I thought that was a bad way to start the day, however, I was wrong.

Moments later, I walked out the front door to discover that I had catalyzed a child abduction panic yesterday.

Abduction, A Play in One Act

Cast of characters:
Elsa, my neighbor
Edward her son (the abductee)
Abuelita: Edward's friend Alejandra's grandmother.
and in the starring roles:
Language Barrier
Incorrect Assumptions

I arrived at the school yesterday to pick up the kids. The only person I see that I know is Abuelita.

Me (admiring Alejandra's baby sister Rebecca): Aren't you getting big! Walking! And teeth!

Abuelita (in Spanish): I don't speak English.
Me: Y yo no hablo espanol. Comprendo poquito.

We stand there for a while.

Abuelita: Is Elsa here?
Me: No.
Abuelita: You are taking Edward?
Me: No.
Abuelita: I'll take him, then.

Enter stars of the play

Language Barrier (rubbing hands together in glee): She won't be able to ask Abuelita any questions.

Incorrect Assumption (waving hypnotizing watch before my eyes): The fact that the grandma asks makes it seem that this the usual plan. If Elsa doesn't come, Edward goes home with Abuelita. Yes... Yes....

The Bell Rings. I am waiting for Evelyn and Clementine. Edward runs up to me.

Edward: Do you see my mom?
Me (under hypnotic spell): No, but you can go with Alejandra's grandma.



Edward (to Abuelita, according to his mom): Susan said my mom said I could go home with you.
Incorrect Assumption: Ha! You assume your mother told her that, but it ain't so!

Forgotten cell phone rings in Elsa's car. And rings. And rings.
Alejandra's mother is trying to tell her where Edward is.
Meanwhile...

Elsa's sister makes it to the school late to pick up Edward and he is gone.
Panic.
The cell phone rings and rings
More panic.

Elsa finishes work and gets to her car. Cell phone is beeping.
Edward is found.

Edward: Susan told me you said I could go with Alejandra's grandma!
Elsa and her sister (screaming): You are lying! You are a liar.

Edward is being spanked as curtain goes down.

Bravissimo!